There are times when I really wished I believed in Hell.

After three weeks, the search for Duncan and Jack Connolly, the two boys kidnapped by their father, came to a tragic end yesterday as the bodies of all three were found in a remote field in Putnam County, Illinois.

People here are pretty shaken up about it. LeRoy is a small community that is home to many employees here at The Farm. My buddy's wife is a therapist that works with schools in that area, and she found out first yesterday when they pulled all the teachers and staff in for a meeting early yesterday morning.

This was the first "unsupervised" visit that they boys' father had in awhile after a long history of abuse, restraining orders, misdemeanors an the recent loss of his employment. His wife had expressed her concerns for the boys' safety several times with the judge, apparently.

I've been shaking my head for the last 24 hours in disbelief. How could any man do that to his own children? How? If he was that screwed up, why was he ever given unsupervised visits? This was clearly premeditated, as the father had made statements about wanting to punish their mother, his ex-wife. So, this stupid bastard had this planned for a long time, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if he had been putting on a good facade for the courts and everyone else just to get the one visit he needed to carry out this fucking tragedy.

All this to murder his own fucking children. I want retribution. I want this evil motherfucker to pay. At times like this, I really see the appeal of believing in things like Heaven and Hell - it's for situations like this that our ancestors created those concepts. They don't exist, though, no matter how much wishful thinking we put towards it... all we have is what we have, here, now, in front of us.

I've been making sure to give my kids extra big hugs and kisses over the last day.  Things like this remind me just how short life is, and how little time we have with each other. Things like this remind me to make everyday count, and to try my hardest not to sweat the small and ridiculous daily things that we often find ourselves fretting over.

Things like this remind me of what's really important.

Obviously, all eyes will be on the investigation while the grief continues to swell here. I'll try to keep things posted here as new developments come out.